Treating people well

The book is very valuable addition to scant pile of books advising readers about the importance of good manners and civility. The authors have a stout pedigree to write about the subject as they have served in high political positions where the art of civility counts the most. Berman is a veteran of George W Bush administration and Bernard served as social secretary to Barack Obama. It is not surprising therefore that both have combined together their intellect and experience to address an issue that is fast losing its validity in fast moving world. The authors point out that “each president sets a tone for the nation” and cultivate habits of “steadiness, restraint, and decency,” which in turn confer moral authority on him or her who practices them. Since the office of the president serves as a cultural icon therefore the impact of his manners broadly trickles down to common people. The authors borrowed a page from the inimitable Letitia Baldrige and have written a catalogue on how to navigate the mine-strewn worlds of society, commerce and other adult realms. They advise taking advantage of humour to successfully negotiate the travails of decent behaviour and emphasise that “one of the easiest ways to disarm a skeptic or potential competitor is to be self-deprecating”. They also emphasise a consistent application of attention, respect, thoughtful comportment, and active listening. The authors support their argument by giving examples mostly pertaining to success of civility. They point out that Ray LaHood, a Republican who served as Obama’s secretary of transportation, took an agency that was renowned for being a miserable place to work and utterly remade morale simply by listening: “his first step was to gather information and get a grasp of the most pressing issues.” The book deprecates the current elephant in the room in shape of Donald Trump who is model of how not to behave. TW