Awkward manners



October 22, 2022

Awkward manners

Izay Ayesha advises on changing some 

Every human being is a unit in himself and knows what to do when the moment comes. Moreover, there are academic institutions established to teach individuals and Awkward manners what to do in practical life with the expertise they acquire. The best advice, therefore, is the one that is not given. Pakistanis are a bunch of interesting people with amusing behavioral characteristics. They follow a negative response pattern in any conversation whether they agree or disagree with the point of discussion.

This conversational trait is perplexing, to say the least as it unnerves the other person in the conversation. They would listen to an extremely agreeable conversation, nod their head in assent, and then respond by saying ’nahin’ or NO before agreeing yet again. Understandably their conversation pattern is influenced by the Arabic practice of beginning their response with ‘la’ or no. On the contrary, the western practice is to begin responding with traditional ‘well’ a huge contrast in terms.

We could probably ignore the negative intonation of the response but it is very difficult to bear the annoying and Awkward manners characteristic Pakistanis exhibit when they receive a telephone call. It looks that every other matter has fallen off the shelf the moment their phone rings. They appear so remotely disconnected from their surroundings as if the phone call is the end of everything for them.

It has been observed that a phone call is considered more important than the fellow sitting across who has been asked to visit. The visitor loses all attention when the telephone rings which is not only highly disrespectful to him but also indicates misplaced priorities of physical presence.

Civilized World

In the civilized world, it is well understood that priority should be assigned to the visitor who has physically come to visit. He has made an effort to drive from his office or home to come, sparing his time which may be quite valuable. He has taken the trouble of parking his vehicle with considerable difficulty. Moreover, he has hedged many engagements he was supposed to attend for a personal visit.

The host disregards all niceties the moment the phone buzzer rings and impatiently picks up the receiver to respond. He completely fails to realize that it is highly disrespectful to accord preference to phone calls ignoring his visitor who had taken pains to visit him. He also becomes unconscious of the fact that the phone call costs just a few rupees whereas the visitor may have spent much more than the cost of a phone call to visit him.

The worst part of the whole scenario is when the caller shows annoyance if his call is not taken instantly. The phone conversation that consequently ensues takes the shape of a secret agent talking to the other as both the caller and the called try to convey the message in coded terms just not to let the visitor become privy to it.

Again in the civilized world, no preference is accorded to phone calls and people often hear the message to the effect that the subscriber knows that he is being called and would respond when free. It is often observed in large supermarkets that phones keep on ringing whereas the staff at counters is busy responding to people who are personally present there. It is very obvious that the priority and awkward manners of attending belong to the person present physically.

Pakistani behavioral traits

Pakistanis are expert advice-givers. Even the children give advice to their parents as they grow accustomed to this pattern of behavior. The advice given appears to come out of a very strong urge to be known and acknowledged as an expert in every field. The prisoners are found advising fellow prisoners on the merit of spending some time in jail.

The seniors feel it is their duty to advise their juniors as it is considered the responsibility of every senior to do that. The bosses advise inferiors as a matter of routine. The fathers advise children though most children consider listening to such advice as a waste of time. The husband advises the wife who, in turn, advises him.

It’s a funny practice to be subjected to undesired advice. Proffering advice without meaning a wee bit of it is the standard Awkward manners and Pakistani behavioral trait. The pity of the whole exercise is that no one realizes that his or her advice is falling on deaf ears. The adviser does not realize that the person to whom he is giving advice is more aware of his circumstances and would prefer to do what he thinks appropriate.

He would certainly disregard advice given by anyone as he would certainly know what he is supposed to do. Pakistanis generally quote advisory material spread all over the internet forgetting that most of it are made up by cheeky individuals just for laughs. They post and re-post completely irrelevant chunks of advice that are best to be avoided. The Weekender


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